The Family Graham Hot Sauce
(by Randall)
I love hot sauce.
I love eating it, making it and talking about it. Like scary movies or roller coasters hot sauce is an acquired taste that I find fascinating. And here’s why:
Capsaicin, the active ingredient in chili peppers produces a burning sensation when it comes in contact with human tissue. In response to this perceived pain, your brain releases endorphins and dopamine, which trigger a positive feeling in your body.
In short, like people who crave scary movies or seek adrenaline experiences like roller coasters, eating hot sauce really can make you feel happy.
But wait! There’s more, Capsaicin temporarily increases your metabolic rate so your body burns more calories. The antioxidants contain anti-aging properties and can help decrease blood pressure. And if you’ve ever suffered from a stuffy cold or sinus infection well then, might I humbly suggest a spoonful of the following…
Ingredients:
1 large bowl of Banana Peppers
1 medium bowl of Cherry Bombs
1 medium bowl of Cubanelle peppers
1 medium bowl of Thai Chilies
1 medium bowl of Scotch Bonnets
4 Shepherd Peppers (or any sweet pepper of your choice)
3 Ghost Peppers (optional, but do you even hot sauce, bro?)
2 white onions
1 bunch of parsley
1 bag of black peppercorns
1 bag of dried mustard
2 tablespoons of salt
2-3 liters of white vinegar
1 fresh pineapple
Directions:
First, put on latex gloves. I cannot stress this enough. Be wary of touching anything other than your peppers, especially your face. Ideally you also want to do your cook outside on a BBQ side burner. If you must cook inside keep the fume hood running.
Cut the stem ends off of all your peppers. There are a significant variety of peppers and you can experiment with whatever you have access too. I recommend a 75/25 split of hot peppers and sweet peppers. But you do you.
Peel and halve onions
Roast the large-enough-not-to-fall-through-the-grate peppers and onions on a hot, clean, oiled grill. Flipping occasionally until they are significantly blackened on both sides. (10-15 min)
Transfer to large Dutch oven or heavy soup stockpot.
Add remaining small peppers, parsley, peppercorns, salt, dried mustard.
Fill to top of peppers with vinegar and bring to boil.
Reduce heat and let simmer for 3-4 hours stirring occasionally.
Remove from heat, add a few rings of fresh pineapple and hit with an immersion blender until it reaches desired consistency. For a meaty sauce leave as is, for a finer pouring sauce you can add more vinegar and/or run it through a blender.
Yield is 10-12 mason jars. Process jars in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes to seal. Processed jars can be stored in a cool place for up to a year. Refrigerate after opening. You can also fill a few hot sauce bottles to give to your friends in exchange for high-fives and ohhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhhs.
